so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
