yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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