He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
