I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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