at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
we're so committed to being not committed
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
