he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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