I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
