sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
