So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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