I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
