The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
