What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
