How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
