I wish i was in the wii world.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
