She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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