And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
