The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize