ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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