im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
