i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
