the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize