Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
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