dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
