Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
