MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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