You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
