just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
