too bad you live with your parents still
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i dont even know how to be here
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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