the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
