that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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