I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
