I have demons in me.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
