Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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