i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
