I just pynch a tree in the face
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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