i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
