I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
When are your genitals available?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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