giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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