Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
