I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize