all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
sarcasm needs its own font
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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