im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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