If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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