What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize