chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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