You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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