he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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