Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
