Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
