and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
