Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I have aggressive nipples.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
