I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
