So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
