I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
