btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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