I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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