I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
