I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
