WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
