So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
