been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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