why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Randomize
