There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
