I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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