You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
