you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He better not be in your backpack
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
