I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
