why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Let's get the cat blown out
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
