i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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