I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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