Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
