So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
