his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
