Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
