i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
