I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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