You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
This is my gift to your gina
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
