I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
