Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She's the barista slut.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
