We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
