I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
