I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
and she was petting her beer can
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
