just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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