I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize