omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
