Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
