I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
