You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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