so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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